These lyrics mean something to me. Thanks to Keim for the sweat he put into them. Here’s my unofficial commentary:

HONOR AND INTEGRITY

I've said all my "Hail Mary’s” and I've recited all the right prayers.

I've done a lot in the name of God to gain this solace from your stares.

So break bread as I take unholy communion once more -

As righteous as filthy rags bleeding on the floor.

I'm sitting ripe, sitting fresh in my mire.  Behold the poison untold.

I've tried to show the world just how great a man can be,

but this great man I've charaded is the farthest thing from me.

THE MAN THAT I'VE SHOWN IS A MAN I DON'T KNOW

So shall it be: Sown lies shall reap.

Honor has died with integrity.

What can I say?  That I've lived what I've told? 

They bought me, but I hate the manner through which I was sold.

I know exactly what to do. I know exactly what to say.  I believe every word – it's just so hard to obey.

Trojan horse lies filled with big butterflies

and they bought me.  They took the bait.

Hook, line, and false, flaky, dimple-creased smile.

Sit back and enjoy the show!  I'll have you hooked too, in just a little while.

I've lived all these lies.  No more compromising. 

I know what to do.  I know what to say.

I believe every word; it's just so hard to obey!

I know what I've created - this mess that shadows me -

It leaves my conscience tainted!  I want authenticity, integrity.

Jesus, forgive me.

My honor has died with my integrity.

Am I who I represent on stage everywhere else in my life? What about when my limits are pushed? What remains of who I am after the façade of righteousness wears thin?  Hopefully more than I can portray on my own. Hopefully the image of a God who changes us from the inside out, although not without pain sometimes. Hopefully sometimes just won’t cut it.

THE BEST OF TIMES

To fall from the ladder that you've climbed towards all of your dreams -

For true love, for victory, for the right to succeed.

Why do we always miss our last chance to try,

but never the heartache of saying "goodbye"?

Heavy hands and sad, red eyes

waving at their dreams that just passed by

We were so fond.  But those moments are gone.

Beloved times that our hearts find –

sometimes we must say "goodbye"

Now the pieces fall and the chips are laid

and I'm not the man that I would have made or could have been.

But this is where I find what trust is for:

crying tears of faith that God's got something more.

This is life, and who's to say the man I see

won't pale in the shadow of the man I'll be

with my heavy hands and sad, red eyes waving goodbye?

We were so fond, but we have to move on.

So what happens after the most important thing in my life is taken from me? Just cause I cant see the future doesn’t mean there’s no meaning behind it, even if they are in full service to God. Point is, even if you are serving Christ fully, it’s still up to Him to decide how to use you. Sometimes we don’t like what we are given until we see how God used us in retrospect. I’ve been convicted several times about putting all my stock into the hopes that this “career” of music would succeed. What do I fall back on when my idols are taken away? “why is this happening God, don’t you love me? Blah blah blah….ect.” Then I read the book of Job and blush upon my epiphany of petty selfishness.  

SOUND OF SILENCE

They’re coming to take our resolve away

To steal all the progress that we have made

Our backs to the wall, but our hands clasped like steel

And we’ll never regret; though they say that we will

We’ll smile at the sound of silence…

These voices say that we’ll die – we’ll fade by the road as cities fly by

We will survive and, hearing silence, we’ll smile

When it hurts to be in love

I’d take it all back if it meant gaining more

But I’ve never fought this hard for you before

They all say stop, but these time zones have shown

What you mean to me and just how far I’ll go

Being on the road (or “the mile” as some of us say) has been the best experience of my life, however it’s not without its pitfalls and trials. Whining about missing your girlfriend/wife/family is perfectly natural for any 25 yr old guy in love, but the bigger picture includes making some kind of difference in someone’s life somewhere else. This song to me is a reflection of what the mission is and how sometimes our calling requires a fight. Anything worth anything is worth fighting for, *sappy alert!* especially love.

FINAL NIGHT

It's the final night – the sounds, the sights; the mushroom clouded, blood-red skies –

The heavens are ablaze right before our eyes

Hail the light!  It proclaims our end, our death, impending doom

Silence is golden – this will have to do – it’s the end of all things, here with you.

May I have this dance before we die?

And in the fall-out’s haze we’ll fade away, just one last time.

There's no fear in staring in death's eyes –

These are the defining times when we prove that we're alive.

Dig your bunkers fast and deep

Those bombs, (the bombs) they bomb security

Prideful nation’s humiliation

when they can’t dig as deep as needs to be

Total war, no chance for peace, it’s just you and me and history

So take your heart, liberate it please, on the threshold of eternity

Standing with the one I love as war planes and bombs fly over head is not only the scariest moment I could imagine being in, but also a very romantic mental picture. Being able to share my last minutes with her as we are both charred and scattered across barren terrain feels so poetic and beautiful (in a independent-film-noir kind of way). Apocalypse or not, nothings going to ruin our date. Bonus: Anyone spot the Return of the King reference?

~I

I'm starting to sound like an obsessed fanboy. This is good stuff though.

~I

Taken from Douglas TenNapel's blog on TENNAPEL.COM.

Why Christian Art Sucks
Friday, July 22 2005

I get a lot of comments on my work, but perhaps the biggest surprise from my readership is that I'm a Christian...and I'm good at entertainment. By the way, not only are the 'secular' surprised of my religion but so are fellow Christians. Most common quote: "The guy who made Earthworm Jim is a Christian?!"

It tells me how far into the mud the conservative Christian reputation has sunk. Take the worst traits of the Scopes Monkey Trial, WWJD bracelets, George Bush and Benny Hinn and this is what I'm burdened with in the prejudgment arena. I'm not a victim, so this isn't some rant on being persecuted in Hollywood. I've said it before that I work at Nickelodeon and I've been treated well by some of the harshest ignorant leftists in the world. These are good people, many with families, who may even think I'm just like Benny Hinn, but they do not deny me opportunity because of my religion and this is how it should be for all religious people.

I bring up this religious persecution argument because two recent developments bug me...slamming Tom Cruise's Scientology, and Mitt Romney (Republican) not having a chance as President because he is a Mormon. As an absolutist, I can claim these religions as false, but to treat the individual as sub-standard is totally hypocritical and immoral.

What cracks me up is that the same lefties who would frown at a racist or sexist joke will lay into Tom Cruise's religion and call him a space-monkey etc. News: Our race and sex are protected by the same Civil Rights that protects our religion. To make fun of one's religion is to make fun of the melanin in another man's skin for both are equally protected and both have been equally persecuted throughout history. In fact, given today's slavery occurs black on black we can know that the basis of persecution is religion.

Anyways, back to Christian artists. There is nothing about Christianity that should inhibit artistic expression. I've had people say, "You must take some serious drugs." and I'm sorry to say that I don't see the correlation between drugs and artistic expression.

I think people credit a secular source to my ability because they've seen too much sucky Christian art. Christian art is sucky for the same reason that PBS sucks so much that it only survives by tax dollars...they are both preachy and nobody wants to pay to be preached to. Now there's a difference between preaching and being preachy. EVERY story preaches something, but some entertain while preaching and we will forgive the preaching if it's entertaining enough...but never forget that the first job is to entertain.

Christians should embrace the arts, not because God is calling you to do it. Every time a Christian farts he has to turn it into God's will and this just seems to me like another form of Paganism. God isn't a magic genie. His big goal in life is not to make children's TV shows that only exist to sell fruit roll-ups and happy meals. To attach God to everything I do fails to elevate what I do, it just reduces God to what I wish he would be instead of what he is.

Maybe if Christians just plain enjoyed the arts we might enjoy making good art for the joy of making something well.

"In making shoes, the cobbler serves God quite as much as the preacher of the word." - Martin Luther, 1526

a comic by Douglas TenNapel.

If you like these shirts go here and leave a comment. jealous?
~I

Currently Playing The Artist in the Ambulance By Thrice see related